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It’s something that you’re dealing with that is really no fault of their own. Afterall, they were probably expecting to have this conversation with you at some point. It’s like a million, torturous images keep flashing through your head, and your own imagination keeps inventing all new horrors for you. Now, compared to the sexual history of , maybe theirs wasn’t so bad at all. Next to them being gone from your life entirely, this stuff about their past isn’t really a big deal. Note that this point will become instantly and painfully clear when/if you actually do break up.
Keep that attitude and they’ll be able to help you through it and probably ease a lot of your concerns. You keep picturing your girlfriend/boyfriend having sex with some other person — doing all of the things you’ve waited to do for so long with somebody else, as if it’s nothing — and it’s like knives through your heart. But so much for that, because now they’re gone, and you’re faced with the prospect of dating somebody who was nowhere near as good as them and has a sexual history that is five times as bad. To some people who are waiting till marriage, the virginity-factor can be all-consuming when picking a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Maybe they waited for a while but recently started having sex. Some may have balance factors, and some may be completely unbalanced with you (read: lots of torrid sexual history, compared to you).
Ultimately, you may be happiest with somebody who has a sexual history that is at least on the conservative side. There is such a thing as other factors out-weighing the sexual history factor (like the fact that they’re crazy about you and complete you in every other way…that does happen).
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It’s just been bothering me lately, but I’m working through it.
I’m sorry for being so snippy.” Approach the discussion as if this was completely your problem, not theirs…. And now you’ve got only a faceless sea of everyone else to potentially date.
If you’re dating somebody who’s accustomed to having sex in relationships, don’t forget the sacrifice they’re making to wait Mike handles all of the programming and design work for
That’s when issues like those mentioned above are going to come into play.
If you keep your head cool and look at this relationship calmly and rationally, you will see that it may not last forever, even though you may want it to. And then all of this stuff about sexual histories will seem kind of silly in retrospect.
Depending on how picky you are, some of those people you date may not be waiting till marriage like you are. Here are 5 tips on getting the most out of a relationship with somebody who’s had sex before.
Sometimes the more you want a person, the more their sexual past bothers you.
Their sudden righteous anger will turn your virginity into something that you’re holding over their head; they’ll stop valuing it and respecting you for it as much.